Yesterday I was really low. I felt hopeless, alone, and scared. Usually when I get these awful feelings it's triggered by thing's out of my control like my health or the mounting bills i've acquired because of my health. I get so down about my situation I zone out and stay that way until J snaps me out of it. Unfortunately I was alone for a long while until J could actually work his magic so I wallowed in self pity for a while. Honestly, thank God for my amazing husband. He is my rock and I need him at times like these the most. When everything feels like it's piling up on me he will find the words to snap me out of my despair. Even when I feel like there's no hope and he doesn't possible know what could make it right.. he somehow does.
With the stress of school and work, with the bills and health issues, I feel like i'm carrying a lot of weight. I am not normally the kind of person to stress over things but when I do it usually comes about like how I mentioned above. All at once it's too much and I shut down. In my state of just trying to ignore much of the stressors I have neglected friends. To me my favorite way to spend my days off is to stay in my pj's all weekend long, sleep in and nap often, and not have to worry about getting ready at all. This is my way to unwind from the previous week and get ready for the week ahead. I don't have the type of obligations that most of my friends do so I guess I also don't think about how me just living my life in the way I enjoy might may make a friendship turn a little sour. I don't like having my friend's upset with me. My rinse and repeat weekends might need a little adjustment soon.
I think that its just the time of the year... Jan is the most depressing month. I am sorry to hear that, i was down this week too! I actually think it's healthy to have a break down like this.. feel a little hopeless and degeated.. because then u just pick urself up and move on with a stronger mindset knowing nothing will get u down!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I had a really good ugly cry and I felt better. I guess you need one of those every once in a while.
ReplyDeleteIt's so important that when you're that stressed out that you DO take that "me" time. Otherwise you will explode from all the stress. Don't feel bad. True friends will understand that you have a lot on your plate and need time to yourself when you have the time.
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda: I am sorry you are going through all this. I do understand because when I stress, my shoulders start to hurt, and yes I feel that familiar weight set in. My husband is also my rock, because he will help massage and make sure I am relaxed. We are blessed to have such wonderful men to take care of us doing these tough times. Hang in there sweetie and know that when you cry, you are releasing your feelings, instead of keeping them in which is far more unhealthy. My mom says when we cry we cleanse our soul, no wonder I was such a cry-baby growing up, lol. Take care!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I would do without him. He helps me understand things, and takes the time to help me understand them, when I am being a stubborn brat. We are lucky. :) Thanks for the comment.
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