Sliver of a Chance

It's too bad this weekend felt like it went by so fast. I have to say I feel very accomplished with my little cleaning spree. Now really I just need to take care of a lot of laundry which I did not get around to doing this weekend. I did get to play Bioshock 2, which I have been wanting to play but just never got around to it.

Today we had lunch with one of J's female friends. It's actually one of his best female friends who I also asked to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. We don't see each other that often so when we get together it can easily be 3 to 5 months in between. There's never any weirdness because we're both busy with life. She opened up her own dentist office so she's had a lot on her plate. We usually just meet up for lunch somewhere and catch up. Today she took us by her parents second home that they have built out in the country. It's kind of outrageous at the houses out there. She showed us out back where her dad had a bunch trees planted because he's planning to make a mini park in their backyard, with a man-made lake on however many acres they have. Seriously. They also have these antique and brand new tractors that are seriously for show. Boys and their toys!

Today was a little hard for me. I was fine up until I watched some homemade vid of a fellow blogger's child. And I got all choked up at the sweetness of it. And then I remembered the time I got to spend with little Ronnie and imagined what it would be like if he were my child. How it would make me feel inside to look into my own child's eyes. So then I kind of lost it and started to bawl. J was no help with his silence and well that just made me madder. We talked about the issue again and he kept saying no. He was stuck on the percentages that my doctor sent in the "informational" letter. I think it's utter biased bullshit. All he put in there was negative news and nothing positive. I would have thought that since he said he was giving me information so that we could make an informed decision it would have been both sides of the coin. I think since he's hasn't had to deal with a pregnant patient before, since apparently there's one other younger woman besides me who he sees, his inexperience makes him hesitant. Seriously, if you search for kidney transplant women who have children you don't come across incidences where the woman dies. Sure there are complications but they aren't as bad as I think J is making out to be in his mind. Plus they could just as easily happen to ANY healthy woman.

After a long silent treatment he decided to compromise with me a little. Of course he stated that he wasn't exactly changing his mind but that he'd do some research of his own online about it. I thought that was mighty fair because he will see that honestly he's building it up more than it is. I am hoping that he will come around and this won't be something that comes between us. It's sad that this has to be the BIG thing that we fight about.